am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
