When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
