I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
