Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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