I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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