Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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