He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
