Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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