my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
one might say we're banned from that church
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
