She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My ass is underappreciated
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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