I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
