I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
