There is no way he is gay with that hair.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
