i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
