I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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