.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
