when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
