Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
