I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
