he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
