she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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