32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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