wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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