a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
