If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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