The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
