Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
