They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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