i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
