rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
