I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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