Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
