Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
