i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
