I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
