Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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