My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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