It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
