She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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