since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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