Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
