let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
