Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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