we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
