I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just cut my nipple shaving
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
