and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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