Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
They are going to name an STD after you.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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