You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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