ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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