I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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